I Just Want To Be

Mask on, and start blogging:)

I've been thinking what I've done in this passing months, other than working. I've plans, I've goals to achieve but it doesn't seem that anyone of them is achieved. I regretted why I didn't put effort on what I hope and wish. Not talking about those big dreams that I've imagined of, just talking about dieting. It's sounds easy but is actually a difficult task for me. I love to munch food these days as I'm always around in the house. I can't resist myself not to open the cupboard or fridge to get some snacks to fill my stomach. 

I always told myself that I want to be better, I want to be better than what I am now. But, whenever I look at the mirror, it somehow tells me that I can't. I never ever thought of I can be like some HongKong film stars or Beyonce. I just want to simply be myself. My mom, sis and bro told me that this size of mine wasn't a problem, is not fat, is considered as moderate. But, I just, sigh. I felt so sick and terrible when I look at myself in the mirror. It just look so...awful. I don't understand why friends around me or even my sis can look so much better than me, they just simply have something in them. I think that's what people usually said- confidence. Confidence is the best accessory that a girl can wear. You don't have to put on make up to look confidence, you just simply and truly being yourself. 

You know what, I've been trying to be a little bit more confidence than before. I've tried to on diet ( and it just doesn't seem like working at all), I've tried to wear clothes that I don't wore last time, I've tried to have new hairstyles whenever I go out ( I will normally just leave it on, tie a bun or either ponytail and that's it ),  I've learn to read novels (I don't read except school books and homework last time), I've learn to put mask ( and yes, I don't do that although I'm a girl, I've learn to wear dresses and skirt ( ya ya ya, I just wore t-shirts and shorts whenever I go anywhere with anybody, I just simply don't bother how I look like ), I've learnt not to walk like a duck and  hunchback. But, why I still lack of something when I walk out of my house? Yes, I know is confidence. I don't understand how people walk or look so confident, they just simply walk and you can feel there's wind strikes your back. Ans yes, I felt like ''OUCH!''. Sometimes, I get jealous of how my sis looks like, she is pretty (and yes I know, that's the fact). She looks beautiful no matter what she puts on. People praise her, not only one, but many of them. And yes, I felt so small around her, no matter what I do, I can't shine. 

I can't do anything with my face (because I'm so not going for plastic surgery). hmmm, about my build, I also can't choose to become smaller like my sis. My body frame is like this, and it will be like that forever. I just have to continue doing what I'm doing. Being confidence isn't easy, but I know someday I will be the one who people will look at, somehow I will feel the wind that is blowing at me ( not the wind that I felt ''ouch!''). 

BE CONFIDENT, GIRL!

Simple people, simple things

Being simple are often the best thing in life:) 

Finally, finally and finally, I'm free now!! I don't have to wake up early for work now, is not being fired by my manager ( I've been a good worker since the first day I start my work there). So, no worries. It is actually that this batch had ended, so we have to wait for the next batch on the mid of March. That's why I'm free for this whole month. Anyways, I kinda felt sad about not working, not because of the salary, is because I might not be working with all my working friends in the middle of March. They had their life to go on, and I have mine too. Separation is easy, but getting back together is a little difficult on earth. Is not easy to meet the right person at the right time and right places. So, I've gotta to learn how to appreciate no matter things or people around me. Yea, I've long way more to learn ( I'm just seventeen and a half this year- proud of it).They are not those type whom I can tell them every single thing, but when they are there I can feel that I'm not alone. I felt lucky that I met them there. We worked in a small company, but there will be loud noises once the manager is not around. I love talking to them, although sometimes they are annoying. They are just too good! I started missing them on the next morning. Yea, I know I just know them for almost two months, but they treated me very very good in this two months.

Zi Cong, the guy who always speak foul language, it's irritating at the first time, but it goes hmmm, quite okay later on. He asked me not to miss him on my last day of work, and I said I won't, don't ever dream about it. But now, yea, I miss everyone of them. And guess what, he believes in horoscope! A guy believes in horoscope? I heard that for the first time, I thought those guys will only appear in movies.

Shu Xuan, the girl who can click with me very well. I guess is because she is just one year older than me. We talked lots of stuff in the office, but mostly are fashion and on diet tips. She took the same lrt with me after work twice, just twice. It's just twice, but I'm already satisfied, I didn't even imagined that I can meet someone like her. I asked her to continue working on the mid of March, she told me that she will consider first as her house is actually quite far from work. So ya, she wasted 10 bucks for the transport every single day. She asked me to keep in contact with her, of course I said okay and I had also told her that I will definitely go shopping with her one day. 

Wei Min, she is a friend of Shu Xuan. She is a soft spoken and simple girl. She had a totally different character as Shu Xuan, she doesn't really like fashion and those stuff. She is just simply simple. Oh ya, she always get bullied by me. So, don't ever mess with me. Lol. 

Eric, the guy who sit opposite me in the office. He is studying engineering course in TAR college. And yes, he is a good guy. I remembered Fion (the manager) told us that he folded and placed Wei Min and Shu Xuan's jacket in their desk when they just left it on the office table. This guy is just too good. He is a very considerate person. He used to ask me whether I want to join them for lunch, but I always refuse him. He also asked me to read more newspaper because I have no logic when I talk. Okay, I will. 

Vallerie, she's an aunty. I don't know much about her, as I don't always talk to her. What I knew was she will have her lunch with the bunch of teen at 1 o'clock. She sounded like my mom and also my kakak sometimes. She had given same kind of close feelings. So, whenever her things dropped on the floor or something, I will sure turn my head to see whether she is okay or not. She used to bring food or fruits to the office, not for herself but to share with us. Sharing is caring, is a good attitude to learn it from her. She is 58 years old, and yet she is still healthy and can do sports. Wow, she is amazing. I wish my mom have that kind of health too! Her herbal jellies are the best:)

Nelson, a guy who called me twilight and not my name. He is weird! This guy sat beside me in the office. And yes, he is funny. I remembered he asked me, ''twilight, how are you these days? '' ( he didn't work for a week because he had a retest, so he had to study at home). I answered, '' I'm always fine without you''. I had that grinned smile on my face and I didn't know why will I answered in this rude manner, and that just made him pissed off. On his last day before Chinese New Year, he asked me the exact same question, I answered him a different answer this time. I told him that I'm fine. He then said, '' hah, finally is not the answer that you had answered me last time''. I then only remembered that what I had answered. Oh ya, he rapped to me. I asked him why he want to rap. He said nothing, he just felt that is kinda cool. He likes Eninem, and so he learned every Eninem's song. He can rap and do the exact same action of the song - I Love The Way You Lie. I was like, Okay. 

Kelvin, the funny guy. He is plump but cute at the same time. He used to tell us about sex. It's disgusting actually, but when you listen to what he said, it turn into a joke. He just simply has that kind of power. I remembered there was once Nelson said that he had no neck due to he is fat. I turn my chair and look at him, I started laughing again and again. I know I'm bad, I did try to stop myself laughing but I just can't. He is also one of the considerate person. He bought me curry puff for me and Shu Xuan because he knew that I will be the first one to arrive in the office ( although I don't fancy spicy food, but I do love curry puff!). He is also so considerate enough that he fetch Shu Xuan back and fro because Shu Xuan stays nearby his house. Ya, you might think that of course he will fetch Shu Xuan because she stays so near to his house, is just so convenient to him. But, think about that again, he can also choose not to do that for her. Is not because of anything, is just simply because he is a good guy. 

I just met all these good people this time. A great thanks to God as He creates all these people in my life. I'm thankful that I've met them, although is just for two months. They once proof to me that there are still good people on earth. They taught me to become a better person!

What's the best thing to see in the morning? P.A.N.C.A.K.E.S!!:)

Oh ya, I just wanted to blog about my pancakes. I've made it yesterday and it just tasted so good. It's so fluffy. This is the pancake that I've always wanted to make ( is close to 80 percent of what my cousin sister had made. I still can remember the taste of the pancakes that she had made last time.) Those that I've made were not actually self made, is ready mix pancakes. My mom just bought the good ones this time. I just need to add eggs and water or milk into it. But yet, I felt satisfied of what I had cooked, maybe is just simply because I mixed and cooked it all by myself. I just get proud easily. Talking about those pancakes, it's fluffy!!! ( I knew that I've already mentioned it above, but it's really fluffy and puffy). Maple syrup a.k.a honey were poured on top, emm hmm, is delicious. That's the feel of living in heaven. There's another tip the eat pancakes, that is a jar of strawberry jam. Do try to apply a thin layer on top of your wonderful pancake, it will definitely gives you a thrill! You have to trust me on pancakes as I've eaten it since I knew how to chew food. Pancakes are actually one of my favourite food on earth. There are always things that can make people happy and for me is of course pancakes and doughnuts. They are my favourite! And, one of the most amazing thing was, my sis and Clarence had given me compliment on my pancakes! 

oh ya, forget to tell you guys that I've created a skype account and istagram now. 

this is my username, huishan0420 ( I just used the same username in case I forget it. I just used to forget things easily) 

So, check it out!

Yes! It's Friday, So?

Live While I'm Young. Rock it? 

It's Friday, So? I've just did something fantastic yesterday. It's been a long time I wanted to do this as I watched most of the Disney movies, those teens make their on clothes. Cut, sew, paste and everything with their on hand. It always turn out so nice in their prom night. Of course, I'm not going to do something that big. It's just a simple thing to do today. I just don't want to waste my time slacking around doing nothing. I want to practice doing something, just anything will do. I never thought of doing it yesterday till I log in to Facebook when I'm awake. That's always the first thing I do once my eyes open in the morning. I know is not a good thing to do, but yea, it's been a habit these days. I found out how to do short jeans. I know how to make it to look more ragged and stuff like that. So ya, I took out the long jeans that was kept in my cupboard for years, we just don't wear it often. I then quickly ran downstairs and asked my mom were those jeans able to cut it. A million thanks to my mom because she smirked, nodded her head and said a YES! That's the answer I've wanted to hear. My mom just granted my wish! Oh yeah! Short jeans is on the way! Anyway, it isn't really difficult as I thought. 

Oh ya, my sis did one for her own too (how can I do things without her;) 

The left one is created by me, while the right one is created by the monster. teehee;)

Wednesday Is My Day

I've just stuck with the song - Kiss you by One Direction latelty. 

I had an outing with my family on Wednesday. It was just a random outing with my family. My bro and I wanted to watch movies in the cinema, but there are no English movies. He doesnt want to watch Hong Kong movie.  So, we did what we love to do,  ( i mean girl's hobby - Shopping ). I always wanted a long dress as in is a one piece till my toe. I bought it, it is a dark blue coloured dress. Hmm, it looks fitting to me, as this shop doesn't allow customers to try on their clothes. By the way, it's free size, so anybody can wear it, no worries!  I love this kind of dresses is because I don't have to wear any high heels, ballet flats or even shoes to match this dress. It just match perfectly with slippers. How nice it is! My mom said that I'm just a normal kid, as in you know, a girl who only suits wearing T-shirts for the top and jeans. So ya, I'm simple I don't really like people to stare at me when I go out, so I just wear on simple clothes, which is so called random. Nothing special, because most of the teen or even adults will wear like me. I will not feel that I'm out of space. I just love to be me, myself- the ordinary one. Okay, I've tried to wear a long skirt and a sleeveless top on Wednesday, and yea, it looks weird more than nice. I think this will be the first and last time wearing like this.  People stare at me as if  I'm a Christmas tree. Eww, those eyes, I hate it. Getting back to the dress, I actually wanted the dress in turquoise colour, but my mom said that it doesn't really match me. So, she chose the dark blue one for me ( hey, I certainly look fairer in that colour, maybe dark is my colour!). The design of the dress is actually simple. A slim cut dress with a few buttons on top. My sis also bought a long skirt, is quite Chinese looking as it has pink flowers printed on top- The floral skirt. My mom bought a white flowery long sleeves for the both of us. The design is quite unique as we can wear it both sides. I can't really describe how it looks like, but it just look gorgeous and elegant when you put it on. My mom asked us to look for clothes for my bro as a remembrance? My sis and I were like what, what my mom meant by remembrance?! Is a remembrance for what! We both burst into laughter. Yea, we are like this. I just think is because my bro is a little frustrated waiting for us- the girls choosing and buying clothes all day long. So my mom asked us to look for some clothes for him. And so we are here, the Kitschen. I love this shop. Those clothes there fit me!  Oh ya, this shop was recommended by my cousin sister, as she said that our ''size'' can only fit in those clothes. My sis found a brownish clothe with some painted spots on it. It does match my skinny bro. And so, he brought it home. For us, i mean my sis and I, we were not really done yet. We tried on clothes in the fitting room and if course took some pictures ( we just want to take it as a so called, ''remembrance'', just because we can't buy it for now ). 

THE END!;) 

Desserts are my favourite;)

Did you ever thought of stressed is actually the opposite word of dessert. So, dip yourself in into desserts when you felt stressful! Chillax! 

Nada De Coco Love 

This is a dessert which my kakak did it for the three of us when we were younger. We just love it since the first day she feed us this. We always wanted more, but the ingredients are quite expensive, so we don't often have it. Time flies, and I'm able to get closer to the stove. I learnt to cook, bake, cut, chop in the kitchen although I still can't manage to cook a tasty instant noodles ( a.k.a maggi mee ). It's not a problem, right? I still can live without instant noodle, maybe this is one of the reason why I don't really fancy it. ( excuses). Hmm, talking back about the dessert that I've made this afternoon. It's simple, and this is also the very first time making this. I was just taught once by my kakak, and yet I can still remember. It's easy. 

These are the ingredients and equipment that you need: 

1. fruit cocktail ( you can also add additional canned fruits you want, just any type, anyone that you love to have it) 

2. condensed milk ( just a few table spoons. It depends on how many cans of canned fruits you mix with. Try to taste it when you mix everything in it )  

3. creamer ( use all )

4. a quarter of milk ( with or without ) 

5. a bowl or a few containers 

6. a fridge? LOL

Steps: (or I mean step? )

Mix everything together and chuck it into the fridge, wait till it become hardened. Oh ya, the most importantly do drain the canned fruit before mixing everything in it. You can use the syrup as a drink for the next day. 

By the way, not everyone will love it, because it's sweet. Some people just doesn't love sweet things, so ya.. but is a worth a try. Never try never knows:) Maybe you might be the one that love it after a bite. 

Oh ya, I always think that this dessert is from Philippines just because it was made by my kakak. So, I just assume that I know a Philippines dessert:) It does sound cool when you tell people out there. 

It's CNY, you know?

Nothing much to do for the first day of Chinese New Year, but oh yea, is the start of collecting red packets from the adults. Boom yeah! We poured tea for my mom as a significant of wishing her a new year.  (It's also a trade to get the red packet from my mom, * whispering, teehee!) I wish her a pink of health and also feed me so that I can ''grow'', ( I know I don't need that, but the words just came out from my tongue. I can't help it). This is one of the tradition in our family.

F.A.M.I.L.Y

Start my Chinese New Year with a basket of juicy mandarin oranges. 

4 piggy in one big family.  ( The blonde is not counted, she' s a friend of my cousin. She did celebrated Chinese New Year with us this year. And yes, she' s from London.  ) Wow! ( We didn't realize till mummy asked us to take photos according to the year we born ) And so, my cousin brother kept on calling me xiao zhu ( piglet ). WHAT!

The Adult-  love them all:) oh ya, my mom is the fifth in the Chong family

We had Japanese food as our reunion dinner, is a quite different from the year before. By the way, my bro and I didn't really like Japanese food *whispering.  It doesn't really matters actually, what it really matters is we are all together. 

Don't have to really introduce to others, because we are the three famous musketeer:) *YEEHA!

This is the Chong Family. I'm proud to be one of them. This is what I known as family. It's huge. Not only the meaning of the word, but the love that we shared. I felt is good that we gather once a year for a simple reunion dinner. I knew that it isn't easy to gather everyone together as I grow older. People has their own family, plans, and also life. But, we still make it every year. * toss to the Chong family! 

Count how many are there in my family, teehee!

To Love or To be Love?

I Choose to Love

It's actually a quite complicated question, '' To Love or To be Love''. Some people might wants to be love maybe is just simply because they are not secure, they lack of love. But for me, I would prefer to love. Love the little things around me, love people who are there to make my life brighter, love my dreams,  love what I'm actually doing right now. To be love? Nah, it takes time for others to love you. ( because there are not much loving someone in their first sight). That's just my little   theory about it. Whenever I pour love to someone, I can feel the satisfaction in myself. ( I just love that kind of feeling ).  It's just like something went into my stomach. I can feel it. To love is fast. It's the matter of whether you are putting your heart into what are you doing. It's not that difficult at all. For example, do something that you makes you feel happy just because you love yourself. For me, the bucket of love that I can give others or to myself  is already more than enough. This world is full of love! c:

It's weekend! c;

Finally I have the time to sit down and start updating my blog. It's kinda tired these days as we painted the house not only for Chinese New Year, but it is also simply because we hate the blue wall! I don't understand why the previous owner painted the whole house in blue, it's just make us feel so sick about it. ( although the very first colour I like was blue, and of course I still love it c; ). Everything was done in just two weeks I guess, kinda impress huh. Well, that's our family. We don't really like to drag the ''painting project'' week by week, and at last we cannot complete it. And so, it's done now. ( the hall and both rooms are painted ). Home Sweet Home. 

Hmm, talking about yesterday, it's a D day ( my dead day ) again. I just can't control the car well and I started to hate driving, and so I just called it a dead day whenever I go for practice. I'm just the way I am. I know is an excuse. In this generation, all kids have to learn to drive, if not we will depend on the others. So ya, I have to pass my driving test, no matter what. What really made me happy about yesterday was, I finally know how to control the car ( I'm not mentioning about the steering, just the clutch and the accelerator ). It's kinda smooth when I drive yesterday, it isn't difficult as what I thought it was. So, the fear and  dislike feeling had eventually vanished. I tried to focus all the way through my practice, and so I didn't really pay attention on what the uncle had told me. I just focus on the road and what the commands from him. That's all. I felt satisfied although the car broke down for 7 times. ( I counted this time ) That's a natural scene to me, it always does. Is okay, I will do it better next time. I believe in practice makes perfect. I can't wait for the next lesson. Oh ya, thanks to the uncle, my sis and bro (who are the first one sitting in my car), and also my mom. I'm gonna get u- my P license. 

We went for fish head noodle at Damansara after finished doing the house chores. I was so hungry and I asked my sister how long do we still need to reach there. And so she answered give me 3 songs which means is about 10 to 15 minutes to reach there. She then asked me whether I'm familiar with the road or not,  and do I know where are we. Frankly speaking, I DON'T KNOW. The only thing I know was, I will see a green signboard written fish head noodle, but there isn't. So, I just told my sis I don't know. I'm used to be like this on the road.  I had pleaded my mom for fish head noodle in these past few weeks. And so, we are here for it today. I like their soup ( because I won't feel dizzy after drinking it. I tried to eat this dish in other places, but in the end, I felt like vomiting all the way back home, I will also got a headache after that. So whenever my mom said let's go for fish head noodle, I will be the first one to say NO.) There is a difference in Damansara. I start loving it after I came here for the first time. The milky feeling of the soup just taste too good. Their fish heads here are fresh. I used to mix both deep fried and fresh fish heads, so that I can eat both ( Is not only me who is doing the mixing stuff ). The fish head noodle here is not sour, I can't really describe the taste of it. But, do trust me, it is heavenly nice to eat! I used to ask my sis for another fish head because I know that she can't finish it all. So, the fish head just went into my bowl and then to my stomach.