I LOVE YOU GUYS!

It just came across to my mind. I have nothing to do currently. I just want to blog about something. What had happened these days. I'm so bored, seriously! I just went to college to attend lecture class for two days, and that's it. Tomorrow will be the starting of the hectic semester 2. Please please please give me the strength and energy to go through this semester. 

hmm, didn't know that telling out everything will make things go better. The relationship between me and zhen shen is getting better. Yes, maybe you can say that is just my thought of it. He didnt mention about anything to me. I know, I know. But, I tried to chat with him more often. And yes, it gets better day by day (although we don't talk to each other every single day) Some things it just take one person to move forward to get that thing better. I know is kinda hard, but then some things take time. It will eventually get better (that's what i believe in any relationship) Thanks weiyee told me about this, about how zhen shen felt about me in these past few months. I've learnt to appreciate him. I really thought of this matter for a few days in hueyyee's place. So, the solution is just to talk to him more often and go out with him one day (because I've promised to eat good food with him when I have the ability to afford it) Promises, promises, promises! It seems so difficult to keep the promise, but then i'll try. 

hmm, talking about this. My relationship between me and him also gets better. I've tell him lots of stuff (actually just part of it, i wanna tell him more than just that!) I will try. Aiks, trying is so difficult. But still, i will try, maybe even harder this time. Not because of anything, is just because I dont want to lose anyone of them. I have not much friends throughout my life. I can't imagine if they will eventually disappear in my life. I don't think I can accept. Its the bond between the six of us.Somehow, its difficult to explain by words. I just love each of them. I treasure them. They treated me too good, just too good. (although i seldom talk during gatherings) Their action just make me feel touch sometimes. You guys are just...too awesome! 

Thanks for being in my life! 

*cant wait for the outing on this coming Saturday. 

a night with them

I will always never feel lost when I'm with them. Growing up together is easy, but sticking around till now is kinda difficult. (not for us, sorry!) I love them a lot. They are part of my family already, I guess ( this is what huey yee told us- We are not her friends but part of her family. I felt kinda touched when she said that to me because I felt left out and Im afraid I will lose her as we both grew older, but not now. Family dont leave each other behind, so do us.) 

Staying overnight at her place was a sudden decision as someone received confession message. Awww, confession message, sing ying! Haha! I still cant stop myself from laughing when I think about it. Huey yee was the host, we gotta pack our bags and help singying to solve this  ''problem''. Yes, being love is good, but then not with the wrong person. Singying told this guy for quite a long time that they are friends, but then the guy dont get it. He still ''waited'' for singying for quite some time. You are in trouble, ying! 

We met each other the second day. Huey Yee fetched me from the lrt station before fetching singying. We laughed when we once saw singying. We just cant stop laughed and teased her about this. We told her you find the wrong person. (She shouldnt find us, because we don't know what to do, but just laughing at her and keep repeating that she is in trouble) She said she knew we will have this kind of reaction but she can't think of others but only us. Still, its funny! 

We chit chatted with huey yee's mom ( hueyyee's family members all knew about it. It's not an embarasing thing, no worries! Sometimes we need to seek for elderly's advice.) Her mom did give ying lots of advice and she told her that its not a bad thing for rejecting him directly. I felt that it's kinda hurting if you reject someone directly, but her mom told her being indirectly is also not that good. Yea, I know.

This was what huey yee's mom told us: (those that I can really remember) 

It's a part of growing up having people chasing after you girls. It's normal as I had been through these days. You girls should know what you all want for now and follow your heart not your mind. (im actually wondering how to follow your heart in some decisions, especially in all these stuff.) 

That's it. That's what I can remember. 

as an overall, we did not help ying much about this matter. We talked all night long but not helping her. We watched a cinderella movie too. hmm, I ate lots of mooncakes too. Oh ya, I sang with ying in hueyyee's bedroom too. We dont care anything for now. Okay, i will try to learn to follow my heart!:)

This is what huey yee sent to me before she leave me here, and pursue her dream in her Uni:

• my shanshan,i dont think i need to write abything about u kay. coz i told u before personally. i wrote to jin ying zhen shen n wei yee about my feelimgs to them. so yours wont be the longest. jin ying is the longest. i just wantto say u r my shan shan forever. i can bully u but not others. i can sayang u but others also can lah. i can kiss u but others cannot except him or u r my cousin's wife. ahahahaa. i can scold u but others cannot. weeewee=) i really love u lah. pls dont cry when u read this. n if u feel touched, pls update more your blog. dont be a lazy bump ok? u know i love to read为了你们的告白书，我今晚都不用睡了！！！whoever dares to bully my little shan shan, i will sure kick his ass punch his face throw him to mars. so dont be afraid to tell me..thats all..nothing much for u. bye bye n pls dont cry a lot..thanks =）
• 
  
• This is what I replied to that girl: 
  
  

  

  
  

  I didnt cry okay? == im tough i the inside, so no worries!! Btw, cant wait to meet u again during sy's sem break, u better come back n dun dump as a side, if nt i will find weilun!!! Garrrr!!! Dont he ever snatch u from me! U r mine:((( *sob sob!! I thought u r leaving at 11== anyway, inbox msg when u reached!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love u!!Oh shit!!! I didnt read the one on top! But i didnt cry too! I knw i knw, i will try nt be a lazy bump! And guess wat, i think he read my blog after thinking what u had told me n recalling y he didnt mention anything abt my drivig stuff== but anyways, the blog is supposed to be seen by u guys!:/ so, pls still continue to be my little fan!!:)Hey, i laugh the most when u said what u can kiss me but nt others except if im ur cousin's wife. I goes LOL!!! == what the..u bastard!! I cant hold on nt to say that i really love n miss u right nw, but still dont call me== i dont want to listen to ur voice. Remember to take good care of urself in nottingham. And i knw u will, becauwe joaane, weilun, mingwei are with u. Hmm, a bit jelly already. But still, do dial this num 0166858227 whenever!! Is better to call me after few weeks time, because i think i will miss u more than ever by the time. Just kidding!! Okay, take care n stop crying!!
• 
  

:)

Met joyee before she went to hongkong during semester break. She had a bbq family party on Sunday night (if im not mistaken whether it is a Sunday or Saturday) Yes, here I come! Food! Looming went there too, it's just the three of us and her 20++ family members. Hmm, dont have much feeling that day, but then I still talked quite much with joyee (not heart to heart talk, just normal conversations) I just tried to squeeze some conversation to talk with Looming because she was busy having conversations with her friends (college friends i guess. I dont mind, really!) 

I actually talk the kids more than with the both of them, I kinda enjoy it. Sometimes, we just have to let kids to tell us what is life is all about as we grow older. Its kinda important actually. I knew joyee's brother for long. So, im quite good with him. He did bbq marshmallows for me! I dont really fancy it last time, but now, yes, i love it. (just because it brought back my childhood memories. I wonder when was the last time I had bbq party with my cousins. I miss them a lot, although I just met them that day. Aiks, family prob!) Btw, joyee's brother taught me how to burn a nice marshmallow, burn a little on the outside but it's soft inside. So yummy! Im falling in love with it! 

I knew her cousins that day, Aiden and Kaiden (a 5 and 7 years old kid) They are so adorable and funny! I love how the way Aiden smile. He been bullied by Kaiden but he didn't fight back. He just laughed even harder. I was like what! (I didn't scolded Kaiden, but keep Aiden by my side and put my arm around him.) I released my arm as I want to reply my message. Guess what, he quickly took my arm and placed it around him again. I think he felt secure. I love him! He is so cute! He sticked around me wherever I go. He also asked me when am I going to come again. See, I'm good in handling kids! The funniest moment was when I took photos with joyee and looming, he just moved his butt and sat on my lap. He wanted to be in the photo. He wanted to be with me in that photo! It just made my day! Thanks for reminding me what life was again. 

*gotta remind myself I owe Joyee's brother a calciyum!!! gotta buy him when I meet him again 

Semester 2- Sept

First day of college for semester 2 year 1 today. Felt kinda, hmm. sleepy? my eyes just closed every single minute whenever im sitting. My left eye was so pain today. It's like there's some dust or particles went into my eye. *sob sob sob! my tears kept on rolling for this stupid reason. Plus, i didn't bring my specs or my lens solution. So, i just gotta bear the pain for almost 4 hours i guess. Hate it, man! Such troublesome for the first day of college. But still, I managed to got home without my lens falling off, if not my 50 bucks just flew off with a blink of an eye. A blink will do. 

I saw him again today. I knew I will definitely meet him today. It's kinda predictable actually because I sneaked into his lecture class. Dont be skeptical, it's not because I wanted to see him or whatsoever reason. It's actually a coincidence. I just don't want to go to college for so many days as my holiday mood is still on. Okay, coming back to the topic about meeting him. He came in like a blind person or maybe with sleepy eyes. He was not looking at anywhere but just finding where was his friends. Okay, not saying that he had to look at me. Just that, mr? can you be a little more alert with people around you. Hmm, he looked quite happy with his college friends. So, just stay with that. It's good! Having friends are always the best actually.

I went out to get my lecture notes for accounting later on, and then he and his friends came out. We just stood not very far away. I was queing to get my notes and he was chit chatting with his friends near girl's washroom. Weird! I saw him. He saw me too, I guess, because I saw his eyes were looking around. (not really focusing what's his gang was talking about) I remembered he used to show me a peace sign whenever he sees me in any spots in college, then I will wave my hand or show him the peace sign back to him. This time he didnt. I was kinda dissapointed actually. I started to think what I've said wrongly again. (issh, things happened when ur mind is free. And, my mind is too free during semester break! Hate it! Give me the busy schedule and the mind which afraid the time is running too fast everyday!)  I actually goes kinda moody later when I got back into the lecture hall. It kinda ruin my day. ( I want to jot this down so that I can always remember what group I am. I'm in group 21!! I queue up to get my notes and then guess what? I told my course rep a wrong group. I said that I was from group 23. And I can't find my name in the list. I saw my name in another list. I then asked him what group is that, my name is in there. He told me it was group 21. I giggled. I tried not to laugh. But then, too sorry for that, I cant. I burst into laughters after recalling what I've done. It's so stupid, silly and super duper funny!) By the time, I already forgot about the moody feeling. 

I told myself is okay. Is okay if he don't want to say hi to me because I dont care if he says  or dont says hi to me. But, I actually care! I care pretty much. No matter what, I still care how my friends treated me. Not only because of him. It happenes to everyone of you, I guess. I told myself I wont be the one who talk to him first unless he would be the first. Im tiring of becoming the first one to approach. Plus, approaching to a guy is much more difficult than ever! (I'm just talking about sending messages. No face to face. Im not that kind of person unless is emergency or necessary stuff) But still, I went to type hi with a smiley face to him. I want to know about the whole thing about today. I want to know why, if not I cant sleep again tonight. I dont want that to happen again. Pls, not giving me insomnia. No way! Surprisingly, he can't see me for the whole lecture class today. It's just a few steps away but he cant see me. It's either he has an eye problem or we are not faithed. I envy hueyyee. He treated her like his sister. This was what he had told me. Not that I wanted it, just that sometimes I just wish somebody will be by my side sharing problems with me. Fine, wait till the miracles to come. 

btw, I'm quite satisfied with my result. Keep it up! Sem 1 and I SURVIVED! I mean WE! 

Appreciation

Just want to remind myself to appreciate the moments that I am having, people that i love, haters, everything and everyone. It's always easy to say than doing it. So, do it before it's too late no matter how old i am. It's okay if I fall once or twice, at least I've experienced and tried it before. Most of all, I appreaciate the moment and enjoy the process. 

Live for the moment because life is so unpredictable. 

September!

It's Saturday morning, and I gotta leave hueyyee's house :( hmm, hueyyee, weiyee and I had breakfast together at Mcd. Weiyee said there's a new launched breakfast set. It's the wrap. We three oredered chicken wrap. Hmm, it taste so good! (maybe it's because we ate it together) We enjoyed our breakfast and also talked about what had happened yesterday. (we used to do that everytime. we might not discuss it face to face, but we also talked talked about it through facebook or even on the phone. We are like this. After all, I guess we can't change really that much) Nothing much, we took a few photos and hueyyee sent me back home. Thats it. 

Cousins came to my house. My lovely cousins that I've didn't see them for a several months, half a year. (Aiks, time really flies! Appreciate every moment! Always remind myself about that!) We talked like we used to be. We managed to talk more and more, laugh and laugh even louder. Nobody is closer than family! 

We had dinner together too, just to catch up the months we had lost. We want to spend more time together. I love them too!:3 

We had steamboat buffet on that night. (forgotten what's the name of the restaurant. It's near Sunway Pyramid)  Oh yeah, cousin night out! (calories are much less important for now) hmm, actually we didnt really talk about what had going on last few months or gossip about anybody. (maybe a little, hah!) But, we create new memories! Yay, to my cousins! They are awesome like me? Okay, we ate like an elephant that day. We grabbed lots and lots of food! Clams, muscles, mutton, pork, chicken, all kinds of mushrooms! ( we didnt eat vege on that night, it's serious, just simply because it's not worth it. What a nice excuse!) The next table of ours ate like they came from the jungle. There's only 4 person (parents, and two little kids) but they can eat a mountain of food, non stop, man! We were like what, especially my cousin sister! She was so angry. The worst thing was their son took the crabs with his own hand, bare hand! Yucks! My cousin sister scolded him and she felt guilty an hour later or so. We were giggling when she asked did she did wrongly for scolding other people's son. We didn't say anyting. Okay, we had another incident too. There's always dessert when you end eating up something good. My cousin sister and I were waiting for the watermelon as almost every table had a plate of watermelon slice. I then asked her to take it from the counter. She waited and waited there just for the watermelon to come out. She can't wait for the watermelon to serve, she then asked the waiter to cut it for us. She then walked back to her seat and wait for the watermelon to be served. For several minutes or so, the watermelon was not here yet. She was so frustrated and she asked the guy where's her watermelon. (she has the guts!) It had already taken by another group of people. She then started to walk back with her puffy face. So angry! The 4 of us just laughed and laughed and laughed non stop. Why I have such cute cousin sister? Tell me! 

End of story! We enjoyed that night so much. It's like the night will never end and we will never finish the food on the table.

* the muscles and crabs are fantastic!!! 

Photo bomb session! 

It's gonna be okay ;o

Had a sudden gathering with the old school clan ( this is the reason why I had to stay in huey yee's place one more day, but then it's a good thing and I love it!)  Yea, we knew each other for almost 9 years and still counting the following years. (starting from primary school) I love them so so so much, just that we didn't meet each other for almost half a year, so it was kinda sudden when huey yee planned the sudden gathering. We wanted to meet each other so dreadfully, just that we have our own stuff to do in the past few months. ( I know it's not an excuse, but then just, just, just leave me alone with this reason so that I wont feel guilty about it.)

Okay, talking about the gathering now. I kinda regret at first for attending it. I don't feel comfortable sticking around with them. I'm just not me in front of them. I talk a lot but then is not in front of them. I don't know why. I avoid looking at them eye to eye and keeping my mouth shut. Hueyyee, jinying, zhenshen and me sat down and wait for the others to join us. We had simple tea time hour at a store. Okay, I really didnt talk to anybody even hueyyee. I only laugh softly or gave a simple smile as a reaction to what they are saying, I didn't even talk anything to them. (I did but then I think not even 20 sentences) Yes, I used to be the quietest among them but then I didn't have that kind of feeling ever. I like them, I love them. But, this is the very first time having that kind of feeling. Feeling I'm so lef out, feeling I'm not supposed to be there. You know what, I talked more with my college friends than them. (Yes, I said I seldom talk with people in college, but then I can be myself infront of them) I don't understand why. Tell me!! I hate that kind of feeling. I told huey yee and wei yee about this, but then huey yee said I think too much about it. Aiks, worst feeling ever! Wei yee told me that zhenshen also said that I had changed. I had changed till so obvious (not physically, I guess. It's mentally and emotionally. This is worst than physically changed.) It is so obvious that someone can feel the change in me. I can't sleep well for a few days because of this matter. I kept on thinking what I've done that he will have that kind of thought. I also asked jinying about it. He seriously told me that yes, I've changed, but then change to be somebody better. A better me. Of course, I laughed when he said that. He asked me not to think too much and why I bother so much when the change is something good for me. Okay, I don't know what can I say when he said like this. I care every comment that had given by my friends. I care about what zhen shen said. I care about the feelings with them. Of course, I didn't said that to jinying. You know, sometimes is very hard to tell anybody about this. It's the feeling that make me felt so uneasy. Hope everything will be fine after a few months. Things will eventually be better when time passed, because some things takes time. I believe in that, really! So, just listen to what huey yee and jinying told me, don't bother or think too much about it. 

Hmm, yes, we went for karaoke session that day. I had things to do now, finally. This time I sang without anybody forcing me to do it (they used to ask me to sing, and sing it loudly. My voice is so soft, they barely hear my voice.) But, that day, I snatched the mic and sang lots of song. I think they will felt kinda shock especially the boys. I don't have the guts last time, but that day, I was like a changed person. I, myself also felt kinda shock thinking back about what I've done. It's fun singing out loud actually and especially with the 5 of them. I love them! We didn't really gone wild or crazy that day.(maybe everybody is not in the mood yet or tired. Oh gosh, we are so old! I can feel it, because I feel so sleepy every now and then) But still, its kinda fun when weiyee and singying joined us that day, at least there's some noise now. All of us started to be a little crazy. I was like finally. It's a good thing! People changed in certain period of time, but if is a good thing, good feeling, then is okay. I still love them, and this is what I know. I will try harder, be more natural, talk more with everyone of you. 

They are just too awesome!

Had splendid moment with her again for my very first semester break. I packed my bags and stayed overnight at huey yee's house. ( It supposed to be 3 days 2 nights, and then it became 4 days 3 nights). She just make me break all the boundaries. It was actually quite, hmm.. felt like home being in her house. (not that I don't like to stay in my house, is just that it has the equal feeling staying in her house.) Her family members treated me like im part of their family too. I was so touched, when I heard huey yee told her mom that it's okay, I understand her well and she can do anything silly or stupid around me, because I'm part of her family. I swear I giggled. Stupid Huey Yee! You are such a silly, but still, I love you in many ways! Hah! We didn't do much in her house. No pillow fight, no cycling or baking or some other things. Basically, we just did our own stuff, watch dramas, login to facebook and chat with some other people. That's us! Oh ya, I don't think we will get to do some heart to heart talk if her house suffered from major electrical breakdown. It kinda make me feel sick actually, because it was so hot and mosquitoes around! Arghh, i hate mosquitoes! I mean WE HATE MOSQUITOES! issshh! Huey yee was so brave enough to call the person and asked what's happening. But instead of asking the person politely, she kinda like scolded the person like this, what for my parents pay electrical bill when my house has no electricity all time. I started laughing. I didn't know she would talk to the person like this. And, this is not the first time. The person who is working there can actually recognise her voice. I went oh my god, huey yee you have the guts! Hah!   there's no electricity for 2 days, how unlucky was that. I remembered on the second day, I was just too tired. I slept on the couch while waiting for huey yee to finished her stuff on the computer. But, her butt just doesnt move! She watched her dramas from ep 1 to ep 3. She then asked me to go upstairs and sleep first, there's no need to wait for her. I went up and I laid on the bed. Guess what? I closed my eyes and the house suddenly blackout. I was like what! ) And, there's when we had our heart to heart talk for two days, in the dark with a touchlight. We almost talked till 3a.m. for that 2 nights. Oh god, pimples on my face is gonna pop! 

We had a small and sudden gathering with Wei Yee (another important girl to me)  to Korean Village to have korean food (at Da Chang Jin) for lunch. Yes, the seasoned meat and steam egg taste so good! We talked and laughed all the way. (before, after and also through the process when we are having food in our mouth) We laughed so loud and the restaurant was filled with our laughters. We had just became the spotlight of the restaurant. Like what! But still, we don't care. oh ya, we got to eat free korean dumplings by the food supplier who was just sitting right next door to us. We thought we were too noisy, that's why the guy gave us dumplings so that we can shut our mouth up. It's not that, okay? It's actually because he wanted us to try his newly imported korean dumplings. It's so juicy and the fillings inside taste so good! Korean people really has great taste for food. I starting to love Korean food. I want somemore, mama! *didn't get to take any photos of the food that day, because we were actually quite busy eating and talking. We ain't have no time for this. LOL! We went to the nearest shopping mall just to feel the get free air conditioner. (part of it was also because we have eleswhere to go.) So, we went to a shoe store that was placed in the shopping mall and tried on heels. It was so funny. 

We goes so confident in one side with the high heels and less confidence in the other side with our slippers and flats on. So silly. We tried to walk towards the mirror and started laughing so loud when we saw our long legs with the heels on. We had such gorgeous pair of legs! We also went to try some dresses and clothes on, just for fun. I didn't see Wei Yee wore a skirt or dress before and so I forced her to try on a skirt. We tried on the clothes we took. I asked her to come out first so that I will show her next as an exchange. Huey yee did not try on any clothes due to some personal reason. Wei yee was so cunning! I hate her! She quickly ran in to the fitting room and I started to pushed the door so hard and asking her to come out. But still, she did not want to come out from the fitting room. She asked us to just looked it from the reflection of the mirror. So.... isshh! We got to take a single photo on that door but with all our pants on! 

okay, tell me my elephant legs are just an illusion :( 

Sept..

Had been having my semester break for almost 2 weeks. What I've been doing? Obviously nothing. This is the first time having holidays in September and its kinda boring. That's what I felt. Being at home all day long is really boring. 

A big apologise to me and also my family members. Nothing much but the driving test that I keep on avoiding to attend. And yes, I' ve been trying so hard to attend again this time. I cried when my mom asked me to go for driving lesson. That's my phoebia i guess. I'm afraid of driving and fail again, drive and fail another time. I told myself that I will definitely go for the driving lesson on this semester break but then, look at me now, hiding and avoiding all the problems like an ostrich. I hate that! But still, fear had already won the battle. The fear in me is more than hating driving. I cant do anything. I know the most important thing for me now is to get rid of the fear, but how? I don't know. I didn't tell anyone about this matter. I wanted to tell huey yee so much, but then I didn't. I tried to inbox message Wei Yee about it, but then I didn't send out the msg to her. I start to afraid that I have no one to talk to now. I just knew something about it, ppl who knows me well will eventually understands. I don't have to explain much. I just told Huey Yee that I'm not taking the driving test this semester due to I'm afraid of it. Thank God she didn't ask me much about it because I'm afraid that I would cry even louder again. I don't want to cry in front of anybody. 

By the way, I'm gonna stay overnight at Huey Yee's place. So, stay tune. More updates will be posted soon.