Is a path of life and we can all do it!

Huey Yee: 

Hey, it's a been a long time we didn't talk with each other through house phone ( remember we used to do that last time). We can talk for long hours, no matter what's the conversation was about. But then, I slowly realised that our topic began to be lesser and lesser ( yes, I called u yesterday, but then we just managed to talk to each other for like half an hour?). I don't understand why is it like this, isn't because what we go through is already different or we just haven't enter college yet? What I remember the most was, you are the first one who I called up when I failed my driving test that day, but then you didn't pick up the phone. Honestly, I felt the ache in my heart, I'm so helpless when you didn't pick up the phone. I don't know what was I thinking. I started to realised that sometimes we just have to be alone, nobody is going to help us whenever there's anything happen. Huey yee, I'm sorry to tell you about this. I actually wanted to keep it to myself, but then I guess I shouldn't. I wish to tell you about this. I hope we can go through things together no matter ups or downs, highs or lows. I just wish that you are the first person I can talk to, really. I don't know since when, I will call up to you whenever I'm having stress or what so ever. I remembered I once told you that, is actually up to people to tell you their secrets or problems, you don't have to ask them. I don't know whether you still remember about it or not. But ever since I told you about this, you really did stop asking about people's secret. And yes, you didn't ask me about my family stuff or even things between me and him. You are really an awesome girl. No worries, you will be fine in your Uni. You will slowly meet new friends there. You will be alright with your character like this. You are a lovable person, but sometimes I do hate you in some way. ( you look down upon yourselves, and you know what, you are really really awesome!!) I hope in two months time, when you read this, you will feel how silly you are. Stay strong and be tough, most of all don't shed your tears for things or people who is not worth anything to you. Okay? Do promise me that you will call me once in awhile:) 

Wei Yee:

Thanks for celebrating my birthday that day, although you didn't do anything. ( ya, we just sat in a restaurant and kept on talking for hours.) The driving experience, the failing experience, how the way we park and drive the car, control the car, accelerator and clutch, how we scolded and hated the tester. All these topics will never end until I passed my driving test. Wei yee, I sincerely want to let you know that, I hope you will go to college or uni to continue your studies. You are a clever person, you are not that stupid as what you think of yourself. You can be better than anyone of us, if you put a little effort into it. I don't think I have to remind you how important is the cert for you when you enter to the society in few years time because I know that you will sure know how important it is. I, myself really don't know how to give you advice in anything, because you are always the one who gives me advice. I'm thankful that for so many years we are still friends. You are still by my side telling me what is wrong and right, protect me from being hurt. You care about others more than you, yourselves which I hated it sometimes. You tried to be good to everyone, share you love equally but then you hurt yourself. You think a lot of stuff. It can be because you are mature enough or maybe we have different backgrounds. I do really hope that you will study or doing anything which is the best for you, choosing the courses that you like the most. But then, that's just what I hope, it all depends on your own decision. No matter what, I will support your own decision. 

Zhen Shen: 

I'm sorry for telling you something which is not right. I know I shouldn't have given you too much advice or comments about your stuff. I just shouldn't. You told me that you might be working at Pulau Redang, and yes, I do felt sad about it. What I thought of is, why you will choose to work so far away from home. You will be there for several months and then continue your studies in September. But what can I say? You had already decided, all I can do is just support your decision without any objections. Other than this, you told me that you wanted to enter to a Uni which is located at Perak. Yes, the courses are cheap there, but then how about your food and lodging ( it will also comes the same no matter you study here or there). What makes me felt shock about is, you've turn into another person. A person who I wonder do I know this guy. Yes, how the way you wear and stuff like that look good on you. But then, when I heard how wei yee described to me how you shop and I, myself personally see how you are so addicted in branded stuff, how you spent your money like nobody's business. I went crazy. But what can I do? I can only accept the fact that people will change everntually when time being. Life is like this, right? People will change, they will not be naive for the whole time. They will not be the one whom you first met. But still, I trust you, I believe you are a good person because of how the way you treated me before. I asked me not to be so naive, not to always believe what you said. But then, I know, you are a good person. You are still my friend no matter what happens. Peace c;

Jin Ying:

It's been, I think almost a half a year we've last met and we are probably going to meet each other next week. Zhen Shen told me that we might be taking the same course, and I'm like why?! Why must we take the same course. He also told me that, no worries, you won't bother about me because there's two of your girl best friend taking the same course as you in the same college. He then asked me why am I so angry. I then told him I'm not. I don't think we will talk or even look at each other eye to eye, or smile at each other when we meet in college. We will just walk away. I don't have the courage to talk to you eventhough I know you are going to be in that college. So, what I hope for now is, we will not be in the same class. Okay, maybe you won't feel anything but then I know I will sure feel uneasy and not comfortable if we are in the same class although we don't talk to each other. But then, I still wish we will not be in the same class and also won't meet each other in the cafeteria or anywhere in the college. That's it. It doesn't mean that our friendship has gone, you still know lots of my stuff, we are still friends. But then, when things happened, it will  still stick in my mind. It's me, I'm the one who don't know how to face the consequences. Do have faith in me, the feelings and thoughts will eventually gone someday. 

Kien Sing: 

Hey, gonna start your new Uni life tomorrow. Yes, you are not dreaming, it's tomorrow. I don't think you have a problem in mixing around with people because you are kinda talkative. (It's a praise, not teasing you, okay? ) Please, please, please, can you stop being so blur? Sometimes you don't get what people say, especially me. I don't understand why. But still, wish you all the best in your new starting point. You are a very passionate person. You just go for what you love without even thinking about it. ( I think is because you hate thinking too much) Don't forget what's your dream, passion and interest in you, yourself. Let your heart leads you to where you are suppose to go. It all depends on you. You can sure make it, I guess because you have dreams and plans. Oh ya, do you know why you always complain about your gf to me? I think it's just simply because you care about her. I think you, yourself will know how she cares about you more than I do. It's kinda cute when you tell me that she scolded you and then when she's done she says sorry to you. And you, of course gets angry but then always think why you both get together at the first place. If you want a listener, I'll be there. Do remember what you had promised me!! 

Give all of us, a little more time. No one says that it will be easy in the beginning. So, let's just break through it. It's all the matter of time. We take the challenge and just off we go. There's nothing for us to do in this age, all we can do is accept failure and challenges and go through it! 

18 c;

Thanks to people who I love create such an awesome day on the 20th of April. Not to say that I've been through lots of stuff in this past 18 years. Opps, and yes, I'm 18 for now. It's kinda excited being 18 actually, as I had already promised myself that I will do lots of weird and fun stuff in this year. I want to go for bungee jump, flying fox, travel, spa, and plenty more. 

I didn't sleep early on the day before my birthday, as I'm really excited and I've got to finished the transcription work. So ya, I do it till 2 in the morning. I was so nervous when it's 12 on that night, because I really felt anxious to know who is the first one who wishes me. Kelvin, the office friend that I had mentioned before. ( he is not the first one, he called me at 11:30 that night). I was so surprised that he called me all the way from Australia just to wish me happy birthday. I'm, yea, of course happy about it. I didn't know that he will call up just to wish me, he wanted to stay up to 12a.m. but then he is just too tired (because it's like 1:30 a.m. in Australia). And yes, it's 12 midnight. It's my day! He sent a message to me, and wish me. I felt a little surprise about it, as I didn't talk or see him for quite some time and yet he can still remember my birthday. The feeling of him wishing me, it kinda weird. I felt happy about it. All the anger that I had with him for these past few months eventually faded, and I really hope to see him right then. I felt a little sorry to him too, as I had been telling my close friends how I and him used to be, but because of some problems, we became like this. But still, thanks to you my boy best friend! I appreciate your wish! 

My mom is the next one, she text a message to me and wish me happy birthday, and she thought she would be the first one who wished me. But then, opps, she's not. ( My mom is actually next door, I don't really get it why she wished me through messages). But of course, I didn't thought of anything but wanted to reply her message. ( I have her gene in my body though) She tiptoed into my room with two bags of presents, and kissed me on my chick ( okay, I got shock at that moment ). I didn't notice what she bring in, but then just giggled and asked her why she text the message to me. She got me what I thought of buying ( is actually in my to buy list) My mom just bought it, and I know the price was way too expensive. I gave her a hug and of course opened up the bags. I hugged her again, a little bit more tightly this time. I thought my sis shared the presents with my mom, so I hopped on her and said thanks to her too ( she was actually asleep, but I thought she's not) (okay, I admit I'm too happy and excited at that moment, I didn't really function my brains well).

We had a Japanese steamboat buffet at Pavilion on the next morning (and yes, it's still my birthday). It's just way too good ( the lunch as well as my family members) At first, the food were taken by my sis and I. (my bro, no, he's not interested in doing all these stuff). Then I, myself slowly turn into the waitress on that day (or shall I say I enjoy walking with food). I took a little at first then it slowly pile up bit by bit. ( oh ya, I drop a fishball on the floor as the plate was actually overload when I bring to our table). Two hours of eating was actually more than enough. Stomach was bloated after half an hour, but I still kept on eating. I felt fatter after that two hours of non stop eating.

Two hours had gone. We gone for movies later on at KLCC. They had no offer for that day or even birthday kids. They just spare us a large cup of coke because that day was, you know, MY BIG DAY! It's not time yet, so we took a walk around the complex. We went into the cinema around 4:20 in the evening ( I thought the movie starts at 4:20 but then it's actually started at 4:10, okay, I went blur that day). My sis and I went to the food and beverages counter to get my free drink, and then guess what? The girl shouted to the others that today was my birthday and then yes, they sang. It's so loud till I'm so embarass but at the same way I'm happy for it. I get touched easily, and so I am. I kept on laughing and said thanks to them. 

We watched The Host. The movie was so nice, and the main guy character is sooooo soooo hot! (It's normal right, for me looking at guys? Even my mom also said that the guy is hot!) After the movie, I told my sis that I'm so gonna to buy the book about this story. And that's the end of the day for my birthday:D 

It's good to meet new faces ;)

Yee Ying is a good person. We actually followed her plan on Sat. We went for food, and also to the park. We ate Malaysian food at Kheng's Kopitiam. We then went to Dotz Cafe for cake. ( the original cheesecake  and green tea chocolate cake). My recommendation- cheesecakes! I love the cheesecake there. It's rich in cheese and the biscuits at the bottom is so nice. The biscuits is not only placed at the bottom but also the side of the cake. Slurpp! Later on, we ordered chatime. That's our lunch, and of course there goes our calories. Is somehow worth it, I guess. We went back to Yee Ying's house for X box. We played dancing game, and then we all dance like a retard. But, it was so much fun being with my sis and her at least I dare to dance in front of two people. We went to the park after that but then is so hot out there. So, we had photo shooting session ;) We still wanted to go to the park although we know we will sure roasted out there. We were all sweating and burned. So we just sat there for a little while and went off. What I know is just that is actually a good thing to know some new people into your life. 

I'm lucky because I'm surrounded by lovely people and stuff c:

Everything is so lovely, why do i feel sad? or maybe I should change the ''do'' to ''should''. Ya, everything, everyone is being so lovely to me, why should I feel sad about all those small issue ( yea, fail in driving is not a small issue). 

Finally, I get to write something today. I wanted to close the blog, is like stop writing anything in this blog. ( is just that I'm too lazy to update what I'm doing or where I go these days). Things been getting harder for me these days.( ya, just because I failed my driving test twice). Aiks, is sad, you know? I immediately break down when I failed the second time. I don't dare to call my mom and sister and tell them. I was lost. I tried calling some of my friends and yes, they just didnt pick up the phone. I'm like what!! How come you guys didn't pick up the phone when I needed you guys so much. But still, she is there for me, Wei Yee. She picked up my phone. And so, I told her what had happened. I'm just so stress up and sad. I felt like nobody is there for me. No one who can just give me a hug at that moment. I didn't cry that loud and long ever since I stepped into secondary school. ( people who knows me, will only know that I always laugh like a stupid fool.) Huey Yee also sent messages asking me how I do in my driving exam, she encourages me too. Thanks to the both of them. Later on, I called my sis and told her about it. ( and of course, she told my mom about it ) When I got home, they both didn't say a thing about it. They just told me that is like this, is okay, try again next time. I know you all love me, but I didn't know is that much. Thanks!

It's Sunday. It's the day we gather up again c: (that's always sound the best than other stuff I guess.) 

And yes, I'm late again this time. I didn't go shopping with Huey Yee. I'm so sorry. She didn't really scold me  much because I'm late, she just mumble a little. That's Huey Yee. She will only say '' I hate you, Tan Hui Shan'' and that's it. I think back now, do I really take our friendship too likely or I know you won't get mad at me even though i did something wrong to you? 

Kok Li reached there way earlier than me ( hey Huey Yee, I let you shop with those pros okay? His fashion taste is not bad) And yes, I met the two of them first. Kok Li then started to mumble at me. ( you know, two bees around you is kinda sweet actually, but somehow it's kinda annoying) He questioned me, how can you be so late, and you are just staying nearby this area. Then I'm like ya ya ya. ( I didn't answer back, because I know is my fault) After for awhile walking together ( the 3 of us), we meet the rest up. 

We had our lunch in Full House. We make so much noise in the restaurant ( its kinda embarassing. But what to do, my friends and of course I'm like that) We used to talk nonsense more than anything else. Kien Sing's pasta came first. It was so nice smell and I started not to talk much already. I'm just too hungry. I have no energy to talk. So, I chose to laugh at every actions and jokes. Luckily my food came after his, if not I will just grab a fork and eat his share. I don't care of my image anymore ( or maybe I should say why must I care that much in front of them. They are all nice and lovely people). I think I'm just too hungry. I just kept on eating and eating till I finished the last strip of my spaghetti. Is okay overall. I like the sweet and sour paste on my spaghetti. But if you are talking about what so nice about it, I can only say that it's just a normal bolognese spaghetti with slices of sausages and sprinkled cheese on top. It's just normal. ( maybe I was really too hungry at that moment, I can't taste anything. What I know is just can I have more food? My tummy is grumbling) 

We then went to the ice rink, but then it's so crowded. Plus, only Zhen Shen and Huey Yee know how to skate. The rest of us were like had zero knowledge in skating. So, they decided to go for movies. But then, the cinema was so crowded. I was like what's going on, why is everybody out on Sunday! We can't decide what to do. Kok Li don't want to skate, and he can't sing because of his sore throat ( we actually thought of going for karaoke) Kien Sing said that he is okay with anything, but then he said objection to singing ( I was like, isn't that difficult to sing? ) And so, we all decided to follow our plan- skating. We bought entrance tickets, then is time to put on the skate shoe and start skating. Kok Li and Tet Shern didn't go in ( they said that they had lots of heart to heart talk, the rest of us definitely don't need that. Talking can be anytime, but then skating, hmm, is not always. And hello, we are going to be twenty soon. We can talk when we are tired of playing) 

Finally I know how to skate. And yes, I can proudly said that I out of the rail although I'm actually near to it. This time I didn't really get to hold on to the rail. I don't want to waste my time, my 10 bucks and their effort in that ice rink. I told myself I have to learn to skate at least I can skate out of the rail. Well, a great thanks to the five of them, holding my hands anytime when I needed them. I love them all. 

Kok Li and Tet Shern left around 5 something, because Kok Li had to rush back. ( he is the cinderella- boy version of course) 

The six of us had Sushi Zanmai after burning our calories in the ice rink for almost two hours. ( I did sweat, I swear). I just eat back all my calories. I was like Oh No! Why?!! I had melon ice cream stick before eating a bowl of japanese rice. But I didn't regret buying the ice cream because it really taste good. It's like eating the whole fruit melon/ honeydew. It does not melt that easily. I don't know how to describe about that ice cream. It just taste too good. What I know is just that, I betrayed Kien Sing because I told him that we will go for Moo Cow ( is another kind of ice cream.) But then, I just can't resist it. Zhen Shen bought it first, and then I kept on looking at him eating his yogurt strawberry ice cream stick. My mouth waters. The rest of them went to the toilet, only me, Zhen Shen and Wei Yee were standing at the ice cream waiting for them. How can I resist myself not to buy it, and walk all the way to the Moo Cow later. I just can't. It can feel the ache whenever I look at the ice cream sticks that were display in the store with different kind of flavours. So I bought it. And at last, everyone of us bought it. Wei Yee bought mango stick, Huey Yee bought strawberry stick, Kien Sing bought green tea stick. Is not the end yet, dont forget about Sushi Zanmai:) 

I had a bowl of japanese rice with chicken slices and seaweed on top. It's actually the rice that I wanted and I only eat for japanese food. I regretted of not ordering a bigger bowl. I was hungry till I can't hold the chopsticks well. I ordered a smaller bowl and yet I'm still hungry. But of course, I didn't order anymore. 

That's it! There's no photos, no videos or anything to keep the memory of that day. But I'm sure that all of our brains can still function well right? So, make full use of it, pls!

I never thought of telling Kien Sing so many stuff. He did tell me lots of his grandfather stories too. Thanks for telling me that, I appreciated it c: I really do. I just realize that only being in a friend zone with guys can make me feel comfortable and easy. I felt I have more things to talk to them. I felt better, and I can look at them eye to eye and talk. I can talk more and even more- non stop. Being single isn't that bad actually. Somehow, I just enjoy being in what I am for now. 

THE K.S.Y

K.S.Y. is back at once! ( it's like finally) I didn't realize the outing for the three of us ( what I meant was included staying overnight) had already been like two years ago. 

It was a lovely Saturday night, and so we had a girly day out. It was just a simple dinner between the 3 of us. It's nothing much, but it did mean a lot to us ( as singying is going for national service- hated the government, grr! And, we both sexy are starting our very own college life.) Hmm, maybe you will think that why our friendship can last that long, but there's no reason for it. It seems like we are those girls that can just get along easily and comfortable together. 

Chateau Caffeinees is a dining place which was recommended by singying. Well, it serves good food though. It wasn't that bad as what people had commented in the websites or maybe there's something wrong with my taste bud. ( yea, I've been looking through websites before I go there with them). That night was a little special as my family also joined in the crowd ( I was a little worry about it as I'm afraid that we are all in an awkward situation, but it turns out good!). Everything was good that night. We are like, hmm, dining together, chit chatting, took photos and of course joke around ( we are all good in that. Plus, my sis was added in our conversation. Thus, the aroma had became warmer. I felt good that night. 

I went there earlier than the two princess as I went with my family. It's worth waiting for them, I guess. They were dress up like.. hmm, like I've never seen before. They wore dresses. Yes, dresses in gatherings, in such occasion. They were both so pretty. Sing Ying wore a black dress with a blue stone cross necklace and a pair of shimmering high heels ( is not that high actually. It's just a few inches high- so that she can match the height of the both of us) Yea, we were born to be a giant or maybe I should say that sing ying was just born to be a dwarf among us? What attracted me about Sing Ying was her fair skin matches the dress well. ( She should wear dresses more often! That's my advice) Huey Yee- we used to call her rhino when she was younger ( no one knows what was the exact reason of calling her by that, but we just did, till now.) She, wasn't the rhino anymore that night. She wore a checkered peplum in dark blue topping with a black skirt on the bottom. It was simple but it did fit her well. ( she wanted to wear a deep V black dress, but unfortunately her pair of heels doesn't match the dress. So, she just put her deep V aside.) I was a little shocked at first, as I thought she would wear the deep V, because she told me that she would wear that ( is like telling me so confidently!) But, you both look stunning that day, *from the bottom of my heart. Me? Well, I am the most who does not follow the dress code on that day. I just wore something casual ( I don't think any colleges will take me if I'm wearing deep V or mini skirts ). So ya.. 

* I promise I will definitely wear according to the dress code the next outing 

I want to jot down some of the funny conversation that we had on that night before talking about the meal part ( I know that the food is always the juice of the whole post, but ya, just let me finish crapping all the stuff) 

Sing Ying and I gave each other high fives when we mentioned about Huey Yee's crush. I can't really remember about the topic of it, but Sing Ying and I were thinking about the same thing on that particular topic, and so we just gave each other that high five. It was so loud, but we don't felt embarrassed about it. Yet, we felt it was more like a, hmm I know what you are thinking type. And, the three of us just laughed out loud. Well, my brother just smiled at our conversation ( he just used to act cool in a group of people). 

Next, it's the funniest part of the whole dinning part. ( You've gotta read this) I asked them to take photos together, but Sing Ying said that it was too dark. It will not give any effects on the photos. We then looked up the ceiling. Not to say that was a surprise, but the lights were on. Sing Ying just then waved her hand and asked the waiter to switch on the light. The waiter did the same thing like us ( looked up the ceiling and gave us a poker face) He didn't know what to do and I bet he'd asked the other waiter to switch on the lights. And yes, they switched on the lights on the other side (is not very far from our dining table). 

The meal part:) 

We ordered almost like 3 dishes, two deserts, one bottle of mineral water, a bowl of mushroom soup? Yes, that's us ( the always hungry people) 

Baked vegetable (left), wild mushroom soup (right) 

Master Lamb- this was one of our main course. I was so excited when I look at it ( I'm a lamb eater!) It comes with side orders too ( mashed potato with thick gravy sauce, and coleslaw ) I don't want to mention anything about the side orders, because it's just taste average to me. What surprised me the most was the lamb. Yes, it was the lamb loin ( one of the best part of eating lamb?). I pour it with honey mustard. ( I think this was the first time of me having lamb with honey mustard as I've always thought that mustard is spicy. You know, I don't eat spicy dishes. But, this? The grilled lamb loin just blended into the honey mustard so well. It was tender, grilled, tasty! It's worth it, and I think the price is quite reasonable for a lamb loin. I love it! Nomnomnomnom.

 

 Choc Flourless (right), tiramisu (left) 

Not much comments about the desserts here. The taste of the both of the desserts were overall okay. But, I love the Choc Flourless more than tiramisu ( I'm not a coffee lover, I don't like the bitter taste in it.) Choc Flourless? Hmm, it's a great name and it suits for it. It's flourless! What you can actually taste it was layers of chocolate in it. Well, chocolates are girls best friends! 

 There's always second round, c'mon! *sigh

Later on, we just had some girly talks and photos!!!

All the love and hugs to the both of you. And yes, thanks for the awesome night you guys had created. It's wonderful thinking back and chit chatting about those days ( which guys we had a crush on, our dream man, or dreams and plans. Why we always get together just to talk about guys? Is like why! Well, I think there's only one reason for it - Hey, we are still a teen!) I don't know and don't want to think about how long our friendship can last, but of course it's good if it can last till we can see how each other grow up, to marry, to become a mother, grandmother and so on. But, do think and look back, we had known each other for almost ten years ( Well, I'm always proud to say that!). No matter high or low, I may not be by your side at that moment, but do remember our phone talk! It's becomes our tradition since young. I don't know when it started but I hope it will not end.

K.S.Y- once together, and we will be forever! 

Sometimes We Just Have To Learn To Dance In the Rain:)

It was raining heavily at my place yesterday and yet I got two bad news from my close friends. And yes, I've decided to write something for the both of you. 

K.S.Y will not dies easily! Cheers!

To huey yee:

Hey, my dearest. I thought it was a fine day yesterday till you told me about something ( him). Yes, he added me into the conversation, and the three of us chatted. I didn't know that before you and him had chatted about studies. ( because I was added into the conversation suddenly) I know you are excited when he first told you that he is entering the same college with you ( sing ying and I were also happy for you. hmm, is like yes! You didn't waste your effort and time waiting for him? ) I really got shocked when you first told me that your crush is going to enter the same college with you. Not only that, you both taking the same course and also same intake. But, he told you that he might be going to Taylor's University for A levels. I knew it was a heart breaking news for you. And if, he is going to the same college with you, he still have a friend there with  him. But you, you have nothing but him ( that's what you thought at first, right). You thought that the both of you can slowly build up relationship ( or should I say friendship? ), but is all an illusion for you right now. Everything was not what you had expected at the very first time. He gave you hope and break it all at once. You silly, don't ever think of that. No one gives you hope other than you yourselves. He said he might be going Taylor's University, but is just a maybe. It is not a 100 percent guarantee yet. ( is not that I wanted to give you any hope, just that I felt is kinda silly because you cried for him yesterday). You've been shed your tears for him more than enough, I don't want you to do that again! You understand?! ( big girls don't cry) Is a path of life, you know? Some people comes and goes easily, but if is yours, he/ she will tend to be yours in the end. ( It's not the world end yet) I remembered our high school physics tuition teacher once told us that, you will find that there are more than SPM after we graduated from high school. And then, you will know how silly you are studied and cried for it. But, this is the path we have to go through. We have no choice to choose, it had been arranged since we were born. And yes, so does your love story. ( don't blush) Is kinda cute when I heard that you both might be going to the same college as you had missed high school. But, think about it, huey yee, maybe it's a good choice going to different high school ( I know you graduated, but still listen to my grandma story!) You see, you've make it, you learned to make new friends, adapt the environment. Sometimes, is good that you look back what had you done throughout these few years, you've make it! So, wipe off your tears and start your new journey. Maybe it might not be what as you thought it will be, it might turn into something good. Worry less, and cheer up. You know what, you deserve more than you do, so pick your tiara up, because your prince might be elsewhere waiting for you. 

To: Sing Ying

What a day, huh? Shocking news for the three of us, I guess. I think it might be more frightening when you, yourself had received the letter from the government few days ago. I know you've been struggling these days,. Relatives and friends might asked you over the same questions again and again, and what you can do is just laugh about it. ( or maybe saying don't know, but I don't think you will said that). You've been too tough these few years, and you eventually get tired now. Ying, sometimes you have to let it go. You don't have to stay strong always. Please burst into tears whenever you felt that there's an end, and then slowly reverse back and use another way out. When there's a will, there's a way ( always keep in mind ). You keep too much into your heart, and you know, sometimes the both of us will crack our head thinking what's going on with you. It's kinda difficult to think what's going on sometimes. I know that what I try to say now, cannot really help you much ( because is not me the one who is going there alone, meet new people all by myself ) But, I think you can handle it ( you are always the toughest and strongest among the three of us ) You will sure make it. I think you will be a different person ( in a good way, okay? ) when you once come back from national service. Maybe it is not as bad as what you thought. I know you had been having lots of problems around you ( you didn't tell us, but you will always disappear when you have problems. I mean, you will not call us, blog about it, or simply text us one or two words. You will just disappear out of nowhere. ) I don't think it is a bad thing to do, somehow I felt it's good. You can think better or make the right choice being alone. Hmm, my sis's friends went for national service about two years ago. They felt terrified and not willing to go there at first, but slowly they get used to the life there, and they told my sis they don't want to come back. One of my sis's friend cried after three months being there ( And yes, that friend of my sis is a guy ). The another friend of my sis met her boyfriend in there. You see, anything can happened through the three months. I cannot guarantee what will you go through in that three months. It might be difficult and hard for you. But, trust me, you will definitely change when you are back here. You will become more independent. I want to see how you are the first one who goes into the restaurant when we hang out, kay? Don't think too much  ( as your college intake will be in August. You still have time to register and prepare everything for your college when you are back here ). Hmm, you used to believe in God. Maybe is good that you leave and go somewhere else alone, try to do everything alone. It can also be said that He wants you to go through all these. It might let you learn something. Oh ya, Sabah is a good place ( frankly speaking, I've never been there before). You can do it, believe in yourself as what you taught me. I will definitely miss you!:) 

* Sometimes we just have to learn to dance in the rain:)  

Oh ya, we have to gather once before we all enter college and so on! PLAN PLAN PLAN!

...

I looked alright these days, but deep down inside I know I don't feel that way. I started thinking about stuff, those necessary ones, important ones. I'm afraid of my form five results- SPM. Ya, is sounds like is actually nothing to others, but is important to me. I need that to get my scholarship, I need it so much. I started to have fear since the day I ended my exam. Not to say anything about it, I'm just afraid that I can't achieve my targets and goals. I thought about what silly and careless mistakes that I've done in the exams, and I got frightened and awake from my dream. I told myself I can't think about it anymore, it will just give me several sleepless night. I just can't force myself not thinking about it. This feeling and thoughts eventually faded on the beginning of January, because I was busy working. I'm too tired to think about the results. I just went for work, and came back, went for driving lessons and came back. That's all. There's no time for me to think about the results. I then felt more relax slowly. 

Finally, the day has come, I had to face it. Ya, I know I have to face it one day, but I didn't realize that time flies so fast. It's already March now. I have no more time to enjoy my holidays anymore. I have to think about studies- what courses I'm suppose to take, how to make new friends, start to learn to stress myself up again. I'm gonna take my results on the 20th of March, and is hmm, counting down 17 days from now? The day is coming soon, and yet I'm not prepared yet ( maybe u might think that what should I prepare). Yea, i need to face it, I need to face it no matter the results is good or bad, I need to stay strong and maybe cry for a few days if my results are bad ( of coz, i will definitely jump if my results are good). I've dreamt about my results these days and you know what? I cried and felt a crush in my heart when I had that dream. It looked so real till I even believed that it was true. 

Besides that, I haven't decide what course I want to take. I was thinking of foundation in arts, but you know is those unsure type. I heard some of my friends were telling me their plans and path they want to pursue their dreams. They have their dreams and so do I, but why I felt I'm so far from it. I have no idea where I have to go or want to go to. I don't know which is the right choice to do for my college studies. Everybody around me seems like they had already have their own plans, but why am I still stuck here. 

After choosing the right course, I have to make new friends. I'm not those outgoing person. I can't approach to people and mix around with people easily, unless we really click with each other. And then, I will feel alone in the college, I hate that feeling ( I can be alone, but I couldn't stand seeing people had new friends or maybe a gang, but I'm still alone sitting down there like a nobody). 

I really have no idea what to do after March is over. Will I be alone? Will I be in the wrong course because of my stupid decision? Will I still stuck here thinking how bad I had done with my exams? There will be a big change after March. I hope it turns out to be good, I certainly hope it will. *fingers cross